Sometimes it is just easier to feel the love of God. Some mornings just bring clairty. I suppose we could attribute this to a good night’s rest, a series of joyful events, or even some mysterious surge of seratonin. But I choose to believe these days, when it is easy to pray and even easier to feel at peace, are merely gifts from God.
Today this song is rolling around my heart–its’ words so poignant and true.
How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
I hope this resonates with you as well. May God bless you today with a thankful heart, a clear mind, and a desire to know him more.
When I was in college, my cheer squad used to get together regularly for devotions at my coach’s house. (Yes, I went to a Christian college.) I have to admit I really don’t remember much from these monthly meetings. But one time my coach said something that actually stuck with me. It was simple and concise, and I’m certain she had taken it from someone else but I can’t remember who. Anyway, she said something to the effect of: “Don’t get caught up in your rights. Instead choose to worry about every one else’s rights and what everyone else deserves.” One would think the consequence of this perspective would cause you to be someone who was taken advantage of quite frequently. If no one sticks up for you, who will? Right? That’s the mentality we have today in a society that is dominated by individuals who are constantly lobbying for their spot in the life boat. (Life boat reference thanks to Donald Miller.)
It’s a subconscious thing that happens, but at some point we all decide that we have to prove our value to the general population. “This is what I’m good at.” “This is why you should like me.” “Look how cool my shoes are.” We are probably programmed like this before the age of 8. And there’s nothing really wrong with thinking this way, unless you get wrapped up in your rights. If you are concerned about your rights, you start to become preoccupied with what you deserve. And you will always believe that you deserve more and better. It’s like my dad told me once: “Everyone believes they are underpaid.” If you become infatuated with your rights, inevitably, you begin to think people are trying to take advantage of you. Because obviously, you deserve better.
I know people like this. People who are so incredibly guarded that they cannot allow themselves to genuinely care for others because they are too concerned about taking on someone else’s burden. They are too worried about their rights. Their right to happiness. Their right to a stress-free day. Their right to be selfish. The truth is, if we want to have any resemblance to Christ, we must be willing to be hurt. We must be willing to bear another’s burden. We must be willing to hear painful stories and to emphasize with our friends and family. Empathy has the power to make you a compassionate person, but you can only get there if you forget about your rights.
Galatians 1-3 from The Message says: ” Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.”
When we get caught up in our rights we are deceiving ourselves. We are believing the lie that we are better than everyone else–that our time and our energy is more valuable than everyone else’s. More importantly, we are forgetting that our purpose in following Christ is to believe what he taught: that we are all broken and disconnected from the creator and Jesus offers us that one chance at redemption.
Sometimes I think you have to be quite the idealist to be a Christian. You have to believe that people are capable of forgiveness and unconditional love. You have to believe that Jesus really can wash away your sins. You have to believe that God really does love you and want you and that he works on your behalf. And you have to believe that living the way Jesus said we should live really does matter. Not just in an end-of-life-heaven-or-hell scenario but in an everyday, practical, wake-up-at-6:30, unload-the-dishwasher scenario.
I really believe this is what Jesus was talking about when he said to turn the other cheek. He meant that we need to be willing to be hurt. We need to sacrifice and give ourselves to people who have the power to hurt us. But he asks us to do this because he knows it will make us better–better than our human nature and better than the skin and bones we walk around in. Furthermore, this is God’s design for how his kingdom is supposed to be built: from the inside out, from the bottom up.
When I was a freshman in college, my roommate told me I should read this book, Blue Like Jazz, written by a no-name author, Donald Miller. She promised that it was interesting and unusual. So I read it, more accurately, I devoured it. It was like no other Christian book I had ever read. It was funny, shockingly honest, and it made things click in my head like never before. The book is a nonfiction narrative–merely a bunch of essays that tell an underlying story of a normal Christian guy who attends one of the most Godless colleges in the nation. He confronts his beliefs and doubts about this strange subculture of Christianity and asks questions that would make any fundamentalist Christian sweat.
Over the years, I have bought dozens of copies of this book and given them all away. Recently I bought it on my kindle so I will always have a copy on hand. When I say that this book changed my life, I mean that it literally changed my life. It opened me up to think about things I had never considered before. It made me realize that I wanted to write like this too, in a way that was simple and honest. And it has given me so much over the years. When I read the last chapter about Jesus I remember thinking that perhaps like Don says–Jesus not only loves me deeply, but he genuinely likes me. This was a revelation. Even this evening when I re-read that final chapter, I got tears in my eyes.
So to say that I was elated about the opportunity to attend the Blue Like Jazz movie premier in Orlando tonight is an understatement. I felt privileged, and invested, and apprehensive. This book I have a relationship with now has a first cousin; will we get along?
For those of you who haven’t read the book, I’ll give you a different review. If you have ever questioned your faith or the idea of God, this is a movie that you will connect with. The main character, Donald Miller, played by Marshall Allman, has just given up on his faith after he discovers his mom is sleeping with his youth pastor. He lands at Reed college in Portland, Oregon, and quickly abandons everything he knows about faith. He makes friends with a gorgeous lesbian, gets drunk and meets a girl. He finds himself engulfed in a culture so far removed from his Southern Baptist upbringing that it brings him comfort. But it is brief. Don can’t escape the fact that he needs to find meaning in life. He needs to be connected to something bigger than himself. And this is where the story gets really good.
For those of you who have read the book, you won’t be disappointed, but you should know the movie is merely based on themes from the book. You will quickly see the differences. Don is much younger in the movie, and he enrolled at Reed as a full-time student. His father is present, there is no Tony the Beat Poet, and Laura becomes Lauren who is a lesbian. Also Penny is Don’s love interest in the movie, but that theme isn’t too strong. If you are at all like me and the final chapter of Blue Like Jazz hit you the hardest, you will be looking for this in the movie–it isn’t there. However there is a scene where Don is in a confession booth and the impact of that moment is substantial. I wish the movie would have shown Don’s character more tortured. A lot of the movie focuses on his rebellion, and the one thing I wanted more was for Don to feel guilty. I know this sounds strange, but I think anyone who has been raised with a Christian worldview and purposefully decides to leave their faith deals with a lot of guilt and shame.
As a devoted fan of Blue Like Jazz, I can honestly say I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It is well done cinematically. But more than that, it is honest. And I believe that is the job of every artistic expression–to tell the truth. After the premier, Don and Steve Taylor, the film’s writer and director, answered some questions from the audience. One woman asked if they were afraid of backlash because the movie is “so liberal.” The truth is, the movie isn’t liberal, but there is a whole lot of sin–lots of drinking, cursing, sexual language, and it alludes to drug use. But Steven Taylor answered the woman with so much candor. He said that Christian media has done a very bad job of only showing things that are safe for the whole family and squeaky clean, when in reality the Bible isn’t even safe for the whole family. He went on to say that we tend to shy away from everything that is questionable and uncomfortable. Don added that he really wants to bring that honesty to Christian media. He wants to talk about the real struggles that people of faith have, and I believe he has done just that.
I am proud of this movie, the way I am proud of the book. I always tell people who are struggling with their faith that they need to read Blue Like Jazz. I tell them this because I believe so deeply that when we tell the truth about our shortcomings and ask questions about our faith we are doing ourselves a favor. We are seeking out the heart of God by pursuing him with all of our doubts in hand. We are coming to him like little children with a mess of questions and asking for answers. And I believe God responds to these earnest pursuits.
Blue Like jazz opens nationwide on April 13th. I’ll be going to see it (again) and you should too.
“God is in control. For two years I was terrified of getting pregnant. But when I threw away my birth control pills I told God that I completely trust the life he has for me and Michael. And if that entails mom jeans in the near future, I will be happy with that.”
Today I’m thrilled that Burnside Writers Collective has published an article I wrote nearly a year ago. As I re-read it, I’m amazed at how God was making plans and rearranging my heart. Stop by and give it a read.
Disclaimer: For all of you male readers out there, this article is heavy with details about female contraception. Tread lightly, but read on. You will, undoubtedly, learn something.
Deidra Romero
Recent Comments